Hoy por ejemplo hablaré de ella... en realidad, viene a cuento porque no sale de mi mente, y ciertamente está bien dicho, pues es un ejemplo para mi, así como espero que lo sea para vosotros... esperad, que la veo acercarse. Sin duda, es ella. Mejor así, sí. Ahora podrá hablar de sí misma...
Ya no recuerdo exactamente los porques de mi vida, esos pequeños momentos, cortos en el espacio, donde tienes que decidir que rumbo seguir. Ni enseñanza, ni un hogar... solo una pequeña chabolita donde compartir habitación con cinco de mis hermanas, techo con mis otros cuatro hermanos. Por este motivo, mañana que se habría la puerta con un nuevo cuñado de la mano, al cerrarse, era para siempre. Todos deseaban irse e independizarse. Yo, sin desentonar con mi familia, a los 19 años dije sí quiero. A los 21 y 23 encontré los dos porques que me dan el aire que respiro, que antes de esa fecha, carecía. A los 25 dije no quiero a la fuerza, por la gente que me amaba, grité no al padre de mis hijos y por ellos seguí y crecí, haciéndome fuerte. A los 33 volví ingenua de mi al mismo sí de antaño. Aún me pregunto que tiene ese sí que lo derriba todo. Tras él se precipita una cuenta atrás vertiginosa hasta un segundo no. Sin embargo, ellos siguen conmigo ya mayores. Lamenté su dolor por su empatía y por la situación que generé...yo...mi culpa...sufrieron por mi...el recuerdo es vago, es negro...me sumergí en la oscuridad de mis sentimientos hasta que un día vi su luz, la de los ojos de mi niña en los que me reflejo, y emergí. A los 36 años conseguí volver a confiar, a seguir respetando y tal vez sí, tal vez a amar. En cambio, a los 42 años me encuentro aquí, hoy. Mi hija me cedió sus manos y su pensamiento para escribir como me siento, para escribir que una vez más tuve que decir no... Miedo siento, ya no por mi, sino por ella y por sus sueños. En ocasiones es inevitable decirla que todos son iguales, que no merece la pena. Hoy, joder, hoy, volví a llorar. Olvida esto por favor... Pero hija, ama y no me mires, ni mires atrás.
Hoy por ello soy tu ejemplo, hoy por ello, sois mi vida...
ENGLISH VERSION: "Examples"
Today for example I will talk about it ... actually comes about because not leave my mind, and certainly is well said, it is an example for me, and I hope it is for you ... wait, I see approaching. No doubt she is. As well, yes. Now you can talk about herself ...
I do not remember exactly the whys of my life, those little moments, short space, where you have to decide which path to follow. Or education, or a home ... only a small chabolita to share a room with five of my sisters, ceiling with my other four brothers. For this reason, tomorrow would have been the door to a new brother by the hand, closing, was forever. Everyone wanted to leave and become independent. I, not clash with my family, at age 19 I said yes. At 21 and 23 found the two because they give me the air I breathe, that before that date, lacked. At 25 I do not want to force, by people who loved me, I cried not the father of my children and they kept and raised, making me strong. At 33 I returned my naive at the same old self. I still wonder what it is that it destroys everything. After he precipitates a breathtaking countdown to a second no. However, they follow me and more. Sorry for your pain and empathy for the situation that I generated my fault ... I ... ... ... suffered by my memory is vague, it is black ... I plunged into the darkness of my feelings until one day I saw the light, the eyes of my daughter in which I reflection, and I emerged. At 36 I got back to trust, to continue to respect and maybe, maybe love. Instead, at age 42 I am here today. My daughter gave me his hands and thought to write how I feel, to write that once again I had to say no ... Feel afraid, and not by me but by her and her dreams. Sometimes say it is inevitable that everyone is equal, not worth it. Today, shit, today, I returned to mourn. Forget this please ... But daughter loves and I do not look, or look back. Today I am therefore your example, why today, you are my life ...
ENGLISH VERSION: "Examples"
Today for example I will talk about it ... actually comes about because not leave my mind, and certainly is well said, it is an example for me, and I hope it is for you ... wait, I see approaching. No doubt she is. As well, yes. Now you can talk about herself ...
I do not remember exactly the whys of my life, those little moments, short space, where you have to decide which path to follow. Or education, or a home ... only a small chabolita to share a room with five of my sisters, ceiling with my other four brothers. For this reason, tomorrow would have been the door to a new brother by the hand, closing, was forever. Everyone wanted to leave and become independent. I, not clash with my family, at age 19 I said yes. At 21 and 23 found the two because they give me the air I breathe, that before that date, lacked. At 25 I do not want to force, by people who loved me, I cried not the father of my children and they kept and raised, making me strong. At 33 I returned my naive at the same old self. I still wonder what it is that it destroys everything. After he precipitates a breathtaking countdown to a second no. However, they follow me and more. Sorry for your pain and empathy for the situation that I generated my fault ... I ... ... ... suffered by my memory is vague, it is black ... I plunged into the darkness of my feelings until one day I saw the light, the eyes of my daughter in which I reflection, and I emerged. At 36 I got back to trust, to continue to respect and maybe, maybe love. Instead, at age 42 I am here today. My daughter gave me his hands and thought to write how I feel, to write that once again I had to say no ... Feel afraid, and not by me but by her and her dreams. Sometimes say it is inevitable that everyone is equal, not worth it. Today, shit, today, I returned to mourn. Forget this please ... But daughter loves and I do not look, or look back. Today I am therefore your example, why today, you are my life ...
2 comentarios:
Entiendo ahora. El texto es conmovedor y muy empático (aunque no sé exactamente si es la palabra idónea). Me emocionó, siendo sincero.
Haz caso a esas últimas palabras del texto: Ama, y no mires atrás; sólo para recordar los buenos momentos con ella.
Un beso enorme, amiga escritora. :)
increible...
sigue su consejo...
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